Cats... Is your kitten trying to end your life?

Kneading on you
You may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses.
Excessive shoveling of kitty litter
After using the litter box, your cat needlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the * room. This is him practicing for burying bodies.
Staring Contests
If you get caught in a staring contest with your cat, do not look away. Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.
Bringing dead animals
This isn't a gift. It's a warning.
Throwing up grass
Through this painful feeding and purging process, cats prepare their minds and bodies for combat.
Hiding in dark places and watching you
Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.
Sleeping on your electronics
Humans have superior techonology. Your cat knows this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.
Pawing at your face while you are sleeping
Cats aren't very good at smothering people, but this won't stop them from trying.
Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter
When your cat does this, it's actually a failed ambush.

And now, think...
Does your cat tried any of all this stuff?