Du Hast.

The video clip of Rammstein's song "Du Hast" is a direct reference to the Quentin Tarantino's movie "Reservoir Dogs".
Du hast means You Have, but it sounds exactly like (Du Hasst) You Hate.
Rammstein plays with those two verbs, to have and to hate.
The whole song is an allegory full of word plays relating to the matrimonial vows.

Du hast - Rammstein

Reservoir Dogs Trailer.

Madness

Would you ever use a shower gel specially done for your intimate parts called Chili?
I wouldn't.
I can't stand that spot, every time I see it my dad stares at me and waits for my complaint.

Chili? really?
Fresh?
Well, when I started school chili was a HOT pepper which made anybody -except Mexicans and neighbours- cry and drink insane amounts of water just after chewing it.

Beloved publicists, you've FAILED in capital letters.


There's the original spot, I couldn't find it in Spanish nor English, and just after there's the link to the parody.
I'm not the only who is freaking out!!!!

Chili gel spot (ITA)

Chili gel parody. (ITA)

Baby eating chili to dubstep
I once saw this video and it's amazing how the baby does this. If anybody has never seen it. I strongly recommend the view

Jokes

Dads.. they always know what to say


I took my dado to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was staring at a teenager who was sitting next to him..
The teen had spiked hair dyed in all different colours - like the rainbow. My dad kept watching her.
The teen realized what he was doing and when she caught him several times, sarcastically asked:
-"What's the matter oldie? Have you ever done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I wouldn't choke on his response..
-Once, I got stoned and fucked a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my daughter!"

And the second and last one, I really liked it.


Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid  collision.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to north to avoid collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
Canadians: No, I say again divert your course.
Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the US Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, divert your course, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. You call.



Culture stereotypes..

An international school teacher throws a question:
-What is your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?
The African boy asks:
- What is food?
The European girl asks:
- What does 'scarcity' stands for, teacher?
The American student surprised asks:
- What the hell are 'other countries'?
The Chinese girl asks:
- Sorry teacher, what is 'my own opinion'?

Cats... Is your kitten trying to end your life?

Kneading on you
You may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses.
Excessive shoveling of kitty litter
After using the litter box, your cat needlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the * room. This is him practicing for burying bodies.
Staring Contests
If you get caught in a staring contest with your cat, do not look away. Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.
Bringing dead animals
This isn't a gift. It's a warning.
Throwing up grass
Through this painful feeding and purging process, cats prepare their minds and bodies for combat.
Hiding in dark places and watching you
Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.
Sleeping on your electronics
Humans have superior techonology. Your cat knows this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.
Pawing at your face while you are sleeping
Cats aren't very good at smothering people, but this won't stop them from trying.
Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter
When your cat does this, it's actually a failed ambush.

And now, think...
Does your cat tried any of all this stuff?

Aaaaaaaawwwwws!

This time, I found a couple photos in a PowerPoint that made me think for hours.
Poor dogs...

These are some thoughts a dog must have:

1. Place your trust in me.
2. Don't be angry with me for long, and don't lock me up as a punishment. You have your life, your work, your entertainment and your friends. I only have you. Any separation from you will be painful to me.
3. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I get your voice when it's speaking to me.
4. Be aware that however you treat me, I'm not a human, I'll never forget it.
7. Remember before you hit me: I have teeth that could easily crush your bones, but I choose not to bite you.
8. My life will last from 10 to 15  years.
9. Take care of me when I get old. You too will be old and you won't want to be forgot.
10. If I am sick, go with me wherever I have to go, into the vet room, the operation room or wherever, everything is easier for me if you are there.
11. Ask yourself if something might be bothering me instead of scolding me for being un-cooperative, lazy, etc...

Aren't they lovely?

Hidden reasons

The dollar is the most widespread currency.
We all know that the dollar sign ($) is an 's' crossed by two vertical bars.

This theory  -of where the dollar sign comes from-  is my favourite:  The 's' represents the motto "Non Plus Ultra", which comes from the coat of arms of the Spanish King Fernando II de Aragón. Whereas the two bars symbolize the two Pillars of Hercules - which in its legendary origin signalized the physic end of the world.

 But what does the dollar hide?
Someone -with lots of free time- has revealed it, giving us four juicy sentences:

Trust no one
We need a revolution

Reality sucks
Holy shit

ROFL

Somebody e-mailed me a silly hilarious text, which I thought must be shown.
I selected the best sentences and translated them.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
It’s called: Why men are never depressed.

Wedding preparation is none of their business.

They keep their surname.

They can eat chocolate no matter what.

People don’t stare at their breasts.

The world is their urinal.
They don’t have the need to drive to the next GAS station because off dirty restrooms.They NEVER get pregnant.

Shoes don’t hurt their feet.

Car mechanics tell them the truth about the situation of your car after an 'incident'.
A phone call only lasts for 30 seconds.

They cannot see a crease in their clothes.

They just need a case for a five-day trip/holiday.

A three-underwear pack only costs 8’90€.

They don’t need more than 3 shoes

They can have the same hair style for years.

Wrinkles gave men more character and attractiveness.

Everything in their face remains in the original color –except hair.

The only thing they  shave is HAVE TO their face -or at least

They can choose whether to wear a moustache or not.

They can do their nails wherever they want, they just need a little Swiss butterfly knife.

They can buy twenty Christmas presents in half an hour.
Now, I'm not surprised that men are always happy!